The misbehaving child is your mirror

I expect a certain peace when I'm at a café.

Just some coffee, writing, and rabbit holes to dive into and explore.

I don't expect kids treating the store like it's their personal playground—jumping on sofas, running through aisles, and crawling around.

"But, Parves, where are the parents?"

Good question. They're having a jolly time sitting across from each other and looking at their phones, bonding (with the device). They occasionally, weakly, throw out the "stop it, baby" to the kids, more out of necessity than principle.

What do we do? We blame the kids for chaos, always alluding to their personality and age.

The Real Problem: Lack of Boundaries

Here's the uncomfortable truth: it's not about the kids. It's about the parents.

Yes, I said it. Blame the parents.

Why? Because what we permit, we promote. What we promote becomes permanent. And what's permanent becomes personality.

When parents don't set clear boundaries in public spaces, they're teaching their children that respecting shared environments is optional. They're fostering a sense of entitlement rather than community-mindedness.

The Biology vs. Behavior Distinction

Now, let me be clear: some child disruptions are inevitable. Babies crying on planes? That's biology. It's not misbehavior, it's a natural response to discomfort that even the most attentive parent can't always prevent.

But kids running wild in a café? That's learned behavior. And behavior can (and should) be shaped—lovingly but firmly.

Here's why this matters beyond just the café: the boundaries we set (or don't set) for our children become the blueprint for how they navigate the world. Today's allowances become tomorrow's assumptions.

So, that 7-year-old who never learns to respect public spaces? They risk becoming that 70-year-old who disregards social norms and makes others uncomfortable. Of course, that's not inevitable—people can always learn and grow. But why not instill those lessons from the start?

The key is to remember that children aren't born with an innate sense of social etiquette. But they are born with an incredible capacity to learn.

When we set loving limits, we give them a framework for navigating the world with respect and responsibility. We equip them to thrive in communities.

What’s key is patience and gentle reminders because consistency matters more than perfection. Small, regular corrections build better habits than occasional harsh reactions.

So next time you're annoyed by a misbehaving child, remember: they're not failing. Parents are.

Parents—let’s make a pact—let's step up and raise the kind of humans we want to share our cafés (and our planet) with.

It’ll be beautiful.